David Scofield Hoard

October 13, 1970 - August 31, 1999

It seems like yesterday

It seems like forever

Psalm 116:15

Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints.

Meet Michael Snyder: Talented Author, Funny Guy, International Olive-Pitting Champion, and oh yes, My Nephew

...well, most everything in the title above is true.

Yes, we have a published author in my family. Michael is married to Alicia, the oldest of my six favorite nieces, and he doesn't know it, but I liked him before I ever met him. Fran and I happened to visit Alicia right after she started dating Michael and I could tell by the look on her face when she talked about him that he was someone very special.

Shortly after he became part of our family, he gave Ellen, the youngest of my six favorite nieces, a drawing, that if we had thought about it, would have been a tip-off of things to come. Somehow, this little 3/4 inch X 1 1/2 inch drawing came into my mother's possession, and I am able to show it to you here because my mother doesn’t throw anything away. Case in point: she still has taped on an index card half of a sewing needle that came out of my foot years after it went in. But, enough about me. Back to Michael’s drawing.

At first glance, you might think that the little man is holding a piece of paper behind his back. No. That white box is actually a cut-out, which is very important because, you see, if you take your index finger and bend it down at the second knuckle and strategically place it behind the picture, it will appear that the little man's little draaars have fallen down to reveal the little man's little bottom. (Now you can see how the addition of Michael to our family gave us the sophistication we so desperately craved.)

So, fourteen years and four children later, when he is not working his regular job, being a devoted family man and fixing things around the house, Michael writes (and drinks a lot of coffee).

His second book, Return Policy, published by Zondervan, was just released a couple months ago. I really liked his first book, My Name is Russell Fink, but I really, really enjoyed this new one. Michael's writing is wonderfully funny and I find myself resisting the urge to highlight some of his observations, memorize them and then drop these witticisms into conversation at appropriate times to impress friends and acquaintances.

















"Once a year my senile aunt tries to kill me." - That's how Return Policy begins. Over the course of the novel we are introduced to three main characters, Willy, Ozena, and Shah, whose narratives and complicated lives intertwine before too long. I won't tell you much more except to say that early in the story we find Willy trying every which way (and without success) to destroy his espresso machine.

I have to admit, I don't read a lot of Christian fiction, mainly because I find much of it predictable and preachy. But Michael's writing is edgy, and filled with humor and compassion. He tackles tough issues and causes me to examine my own life and charity toward others. I would classify the genre as contemporarily quirky, or quirkily contemporary. Hey, Michael, if you are reading this, what do you think?

At Amazon you can read some great reviews by folks who do a much better job expressing my sentiments about Michael's writing.

In a few days I will post an interview with Michael that I think you will enjoy. Perhaps you would like to know that I will be giving a signed copy of Return Policy to one lucky person. But more about that next time. Thanks for stopping by!

School School School School School

...and more school. I'll feel much better in a few weeks. Everything seems to change from school year to school year: schedules, staff, procedures. Handling change well...not one of my gifts.

Save the World, er, I mean...Save the Words!

This is a screen shot of the home page of the Save the Words website. Here you will find a collage of various obscure words. Visiting this wall of words and having them call out to you ("pick me" or "yo, over here") is reminiscent of going to the Human Society, but without the guilt and emotional angst. There's that, and in addition, if you adopt a word you won't have to feed it or take it out for a walk, or have someone (Lori) callously suggest that you shoot it.

If you move your mouse outside of the white frame the words scroll from side to side or top to bottom. The idea is that these words are not used often enough and they are in danger of becoming extinct. You are called upon to step up, get involved and adopt one of these words.

In adopting you agree to this pledge: "I hereby promise to use this word in conversation and correspondence, as frequently as possible to the best of my ability."

So I ambitiously adopted two words today. I will use them in a sentence right now: Having been a foppotee for as long as I can remember, I am murklins as to what I should say next. Bet you can't guess the words I adopted. If you can, then you are not as much of a foppotee as I thought.

So what are you waiting for? There are lots of words that need a-savin'. Adopt one today! Use it in a sentence here, and then go out and share it with the world. You will feel so much better.

I'm Learning to Knit!

It's true! This is only something that I've wanted to do for forty years. I come from a family of crocheters (crochettes? -- crochetians? -- crochetarians? -- crochetsters?) so I've known how to crochet since I was young, but it seems that when I look at patterns, the ones I gravitate toward involve knitting. So I got Knitting for Dummies and a how-to video from the library, some knitting needles and yarn and I'm on my way. It really isn't as difficult as I thought it would be.

So, now that I am picking up a little speed, I thought this would be a good time to tell you that whatever gift you get from me in the next few years will probably be something knitted. In fact I'm working on Christmas gifts for some of you now. Here are a few photos of what I hope will be finished in time to bless you with a little special handmade something. You'll notice these are mainly hats or legwarms, the easier stuff, because, well, I'm still learning.

Expect more ambitious gifts next year: jumpsuits, ponchos, sweatercoats, things like that. See if you can guess which one is yours.

This might be a good time to disown me as a friend, forget my blog address and block my emails. Don't say you weren't warned.

Gratitude

Next Wednesday I will report back to school after a ten-week summer break. Each year at this time I start grumbling about having to return. My job is great, I love being around the kids, the staff is wonderful, and school is two miles from my house. It's just hard to give up the freedom. So I decided this year I need an attitude adjustment. When I start hearing that grumbling going on in my head or spilling out through my mouth, I am trying to remind myself of all God's blessings. So, if you hear me complaining about going back to work, you have my permission to wag your finger at me and give me your best scowl. That should make me feel guilty.

Psalm 100

Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth!

Serve the Lord with gladness!

Come into his presence with singing!

Know that the Lord, he is God!

It is he who made us, and we are his;

we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.

Enter his gates with thanksgiving,

and his courts with praise!

Give thanks to him; bless his name!

For the Lord is good,

his steadfast love endures forever,

and his faithfulness to all generations.